By Barbara Levinson
First impressions matter, so make them meaningful. Use your photographs and profile to decide what you want to reveal and present your authentic self to the world. There are many possibilities for everyone, even those of us who are less than perfect. Remember that no one is flawless, but you can find someone who is right for you.
Photographs
Your photographs are what people first see when they browse a website. Make sure they are appealing, because no one will take the time to read that you're an athletic, fun, former model, nuclear physicist, gourmet cook, or home builder for people in need unless they find your photographs interesting. Post a current photograph in which you look natural and happy. Ask someone who makes you feel relaxed or laugh to take the photos. No Photoshop; natural expression says more than wrinkle-free skin.
Post two to five photographs: a headshot, a full-length picture, and maybe one or two that reflect your lifestyle or interests. This isn't Facebook, where you might document your life. Offer enough of a glimpse to arouse interest and leave people wanting to know more. Avoid group photographs; you want viewers focused on you. Include at least one outdoor picture because nature is synonymous with health and vitality. Most importantly, use up-to-date photographs that accurately reflect your appearance and style.
Profile
Pick a tagline. It’s best to choose one that reflects who you are without being too specific. Enjoying the journey suggests an upbeat outlook on life; mad for motorcycles suggests prospects should enjoy motorcycles, which might rule out someone who is right for you in many other ways. Consider quotes from famous people or song titles that describe you, like still crazy after all these years.
The profile gives people a glimpse into who you are. Like the photos, you want to give just enough information to incite curiosity. Think about what defines you: your passions and interests. “I’m a hopeful romantic” or “I believe in making the world a better place.” One way to get started is to walk around with a notepad or smartphone and write down whatever comes to mind. Then edit, refine, and revise it. The profile is a work in progress. Before posting your profile, ask someone you trust to proofread it for spelling, grammar, clarity, and tone.
Next, talk about the person you want to meet. Once more, in under 100 words, describe the kind of person you're looking for. For example, "I'm looking for someone with a warm heart, a lot of energy, and a desire to take vacations in a yurt in Mongolia." It's a good idea to include a few firm requirements, such as being a nonsmoker, holding certain political beliefs, having a particular level of activity, or sharing a specific pet peeve. Including these details will help you attract someone who is a good match for you.
Putting Yourself Out There
Dating online is a form of marketing: think about how you want to present yourself. Instead of just listing your qualities, use detailed, short stories to show who you are. Since many people like music, travel, wine, books, children, and dogs, be specific. For example, name an artist that you admire, refer to a place you've been that stood out, mention a cause that you back, or include something fun, such as "I'm looking for a partner because I'm tired of having my dog as my co-pilot". Let your individuality and personality shine through.
Consider the impressions that are not directly stated about your words.
I'm fortunate that my former partner shares the responsibility for our three energetic sons, implies you are a parent of three active sons and still have time for a relationship. relationship.
I love arriving home from work to a house that someone else has cleaned, implies that you work outside the home, can afford a housekeeper, and that you might not be very neat yourself.
Would you like to go hiking in Patagonia or try Zumba in South America? indicates that you enjoy dancing, hiking, and exploring diverse cultures.
I'm a throwback to the sixties; I don't wear Birkenstocks but enjoy cannabis for reasons that have nothing to do with medicine, indicates that you won't be a good match with a cannabis critic.
Remember that going online isn't about impressing everyone. It's about connecting with people who might be a good match for what you are seeking in a relationship or as a friend. After you show interest in each other, start talking, arrange a meeting, and, if there's a spark, let a real relationship or friendship begin.