A Personal Pursuit of Sexual Fantasy from Seven to Seventy

By Skyler Ward

I grew up in a household of boys and a familial expectation of modesty. As far back as I can remember, I had a strong and compelling curiosity about female nudity. I took advantage of the proximity of our neighbor’s bedroom windows to observe the numerous titillating activities of the high school girls that lived but 15 feet from my bedroom. I coveted the experiences of those participating in the parties chronicled in Playboy and Penthouse magazines. I couldn’t wait to be old enough to date women who looked and acted as portrayed in magazines and film.

But, as luck would have it, I fell in true love early, married young, became a father, and had a wonderful family life, precluding pursuit of free love, sex parties, extramarital sexual relationships, etc. While I don’t regret my decisions to live the family life, and I wouldn’t change a thing, I have always felt that I missed a big part of the sixties’ life experience by sitting out the sexual revolution. So, finding myself single, seventy, and retired, I wondered if I could go back and fill the void.

I began by researching nudist or naturist camps. These are typically clothing-free venues where nudity is much like a religion. They are often family oriented and steadfast in their efforts to ensure everyone knows that public sex of any sort is neither intended nor allowed. I found a camp within an hour’s drive, collected a female platonic friend who was also up for the adventure, and off we went. As advertised, it was not sexual even though we were all nude. I thought that I would be self-conscious and nervous, but I was not in the slightest. It was almost normal and natural. I checked it off the list.  

Next, I wondered about sex clubs. I remembered Jeri Ryan (7 of 9 on the series Star Trek Voyager in the late 90’s) who filed for divorce from Jack Ryan (who was running for a Senate seat from Illinois) because he wanted her to go to a sex club with him. A couple years ago, I channeled my never-dormant curiosity into book reading and online research on sex clubs. I discovered that many of the clubs are predominantly frequented by swingers. These are couples who choose a lifestyle of interacting sexually primarily with other couples. Some clubs are more focused on BDSM and fetishes, while others are more like night clubs with the focus on having sex – not just dancing. Single women are almost always welcome, at couples’ clubs, but single men are often limited in numbers  

Now that I have a partner who is also usually up for any new adventure, we decided to try it out at a couple-oriented club. We dressed in our finest clubwear; for men that’s typically what one would wear going to an up-scale restaurant, and for women it’s more the sexiest combinations of dresses and lingerie in the closet. Regulars apparently have well-stocked closets.  

The club we visited had a lobby that opened onto a dance floor with a DJ and dance pole at one end. It was very much like a lounge with couples of all sorts (tall, short, heavy, thin….) in a variety of outfits – mostly sexy. Throughout the early evening, women used the pole. Videos of nude dancers played on several large monitors, pieces of clothing came off, and the level of excitement this engendered eventually lured both dancers and observers into the play side of the facility. First was a changing/locker room where couples (both gay and straight) stripped down to their underwear, lingerie, or less to enter the official play areas which were equipped with more lounge seating on one side and a continuous mattress floor on the other. We had come prepared as voyeurs: me with my satin boxers and her with multiple layers of lingerie.

As we entered the play space, the sea of nude bodies created a sensual overload. Some were sitting on the periphery making out or just watching. On the dimly lit “mattressed” floor individual couples were doing their own thing, while others were engaged in orgies of all sorts in piles of arms, legs, butts, and other indistinguishable body parts. We sat and observed for a short time until we were overcome with excitement, took space on the floor mattress, and did our own thing. It was uniquely exhilarating making love in the presence of 50 other couples. The combined energy of the group was palpable.

Since this initial experience, we have visited a few other clubs and have noticed that some participants are exhibitionists, some are voyeurs, and some just want as much sex as they can get. There is something for everybody with some clubs offering additional activities in the fetish or BDSM worlds. Some clubs are very upscale, but others can be pretty raw or slutty. Attendance can vary significantly from week to week. But all of the clubs that I researched were founded on the golden rule that consent is key: a positive yes is required for any engagement with anyone. No means no, but so does anything other than a clear yes. The second rule is that everyone is there to have fun and find pleasure.

While larger clubs are generally public, some are not. Some require membership and have a vetting process to filter prospects and ensure some level of homogeneity according to whatever criteria they wish. Some clubs are advertised, while others are small and operate by word-of-mouth. We found a swingers’ club that sponsors parties at various homes or hotels. We had to apply for membership, and that included submitting an application with ID pictures and a telephone interview/orientation. These events range in size based upon the facility and location. The house party we attended had about 45 people (mostly couples) with a median age of roughly fifty. The bedrooms were equipped with multiple beds and mattresses, and the rest of the house was typical of regular home-based social events. Many, if not most of the people, knew each other from years of partying, but newcomers felt very welcome.

It is often thought that we seniors are past the point that club activities are appropriate or even possible, but that is not generally true. One does not need to partake in orgies to get a great deal of pleasure at a club. Just being in the company of others having sex is hugely arousing. Many of us suffer from ED or other sexual dysfunctions, but just because penetration is not feasible, that doesn’t mean that we can’t and don’t get turned on. Sexual pleasure is so much more than intercourse or orgasm. Many couples play with other couples according to mutual rules that may include only kissing and not genital touching, or alternatively, no kissing but various other sex acts are okay. Everyone gets to set their own rules and individual boundaries.